Sunday, April 11, 2010

WIP: What have the Romans done for us?


Reg: The Romans have bled us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, not just from us, from our fathers and from our fathers' fathers.

Stan: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers.

Reg: Yes.

Stan: And from our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers.

Reg: All right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?

Xerxes: The aqueduct.

Reg: Oh yeah, yeah they gave us that. Yeah. That's true.

Masked Activist: And the sanitation!

Stan: Oh yes... sanitation, Reg, you remember what the city used to be like.

Reg: All right, I'll grant you that the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done...

Matthias: And the roads...

Reg: sharply) Well yes obviously the roads... the roads go without saying. But apart from the aqueduct, the sanitation and the roads...

Another Masked Activist: Irrigation...

Other Masked Voices: Medicine... Education... Health...

Reg: Yes... all right, fair enough...

Activist Near Front: And the wine...

Omnes: Oh yes! True!

Francis: Yeah. That's something we'd really miss if the Romans left, Reg.

Masked Activist at Back: Public baths!

Stan: And it's safe to walk in the streets at night now.

Francis: Yes, they certainly know how to keep order... (general nodding)... let's face it, they're the only ones who could in a place like this.

(more general murmurs of agreement)

Reg: All right... all right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what have the Romans done for us?

Xerxes: Brought peace!

Reg: (very angry, he's not having a good meeting at all) What!? Oh... (scornfully) Peace, yes... shut up!

4 comments:

Joe Gekko said...

The people called Romanes they go the house.

Jonathan said...

Heh, I was just looking to replace my old VHS copy of The Life of Brian with a shiney, new DVD version last night. Thanks for the laugh!

bsmoove said...

@ Joe. Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.

@ Jonathan. Glad you enjoyed it. I thought about writing an intro or an explanation of some description but then thought, no. I'll just let it speak for itself.

Papa JJ said...

Haha! One of my favorite scenes, for sure. Thank you for recalling some great memories. Those are some lovely Romans in the pictures, too.

Oh, and... Romanes Eunt Domus! ; )