Sunday, October 30, 2011

"Re: Your Brains"

" Re: Your Brains "

Heya Tom, it's Bob from the office down the hall.
Good to see you buddy, how've you been?
Things have been okay for me except that I'm a zombie now.
I really wish you'd let us in.
I think I speak for all of us when I say I understand why you folks might hesitate to submit to our demand.
But here's an FYI: you're all gonna die screaming.

All we want to do is eat your brains.
We're not unreasonable. I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes.
All we want to do is eat your brains.
We're at an impasse here -maybe we should compromise:
if you open up the door, we'll all come inside and eat your brains.


I don't want to nitpick, Tom, but is this really your plan?
-spend your whole life locked inside a mall?
Maybe that's okay for now but someday you'll be out of food and guns,
and then you'll have to make the call.
I'm not surprised to see you haven't thought it through enough.
You never had the head for all that bigger picture stuff,
But Tom, that's what I do and I plan on eating you
slowly.

[chorus]

I'd like to help you, Tom, in any way I can.
I sure appreciate the way you're working with me.
I'm not a monster Tom ...well, technically I am.
I guess I am.

I've got another meeting Tom, maybe we could wrap it up.
I know we'll get to common ground somehow
-meanwhile I'll report back to my colleagues who were chewing on the doors-
I guess we'll table this for now.
I'm glad to see you take constructive criticism well.
Thank you for your time I know we're all busy as hell.
And we'll put this thing to bed ...when I bash your head
open.

[chorus]

Jonathan Coulton "Re: Your Brains"

Happy Halloween, one and all. Be safe out there.

6 comments:

Skarvald the Troll-faced said...

You, sir, win the internets!

Loquacious said...

Priceless! Thank you so much for sharing.

Brian said...

@ Skarvald and Loq. Too kind. Too kind. Thank you both.

HOTpanda said...

The perfect Halloween post from the perfect blog.

Brian said...

@ Panda. thank you kindly, sir.

HOTpanda said...

Looks like Bob, Tom and yourself all had their Sunday Best on when you threw this post up. I hope you don't mind me giving you a shout on my weekly themed top x. Cheers.